I remember one year, before I had kids - obviously, I spent the entire month of November posting on Facebook something I was thankful for every single day. I spent a luxurious amount of time taking the just the right aesthetically pleasing picture of my coffee cup, classroom, cozy little apartment, etc. and writing just the right words to accompany it. Honestly, I wish I was better at this practice in my everyday life. It's kind of strange that we have to actually be intentional to recognize the immense amount of blessing around us that we have to be grateful for. I used to preach this to my students all the time. "Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day!" I had it plastered on my classroom door as a reminder, but was I living that out? Far too often I allow the difficult, unpleasant, and mediocre routines and incidents overrun the beauty of God's goodness throughout my day.
A couple of weeks ago, I was given the opportunity to share my testimony with our entire congregation at church. This is truly something so beyond my comfort zone, I could've just curled up and died. Nonetheless, I stood in front of our church, sharing my story and how God has been at work in Team Goodrich over the last few years. I began by sharing the fact that I have always felt as if I were a person with a testimony not really worth sharing. I think when we think of a testimony that is "worth sharing" we often consider people who have had a life changing moment, that big encounter with God, that moment when everything changed. Instead in my life, God slowly changed my heart over the course of many years with a series of big and small moments and seasons, each of which formed me into the woman I am today. As I sat down and wrote each words intentionally and carefully, my eyes were opened to the work God has done in our family and in my heart since I was young. Even in some of my darkest moments, He was there, shining a light on His blessings. Supportive parents that kept turning me back to Jesus when I'd walk away, sisters full of experience and wisdom, knowing Jesus from a young age, in-laws that love me like their own, a group of friends to walk through life with, job opportunities I had no idea I would love so much, a husband willing to do the hard work to grow together, and three beautiful, healthy children... just to name a few. I began to see that while I am so, so, SO thankful for a warm cup of coffee... this year, my gratitude for how far God has brought me runs so much deeper.
So, in the season of thankfulness, I wanted to use this experience to intentionally recognize some areas I'm thankful for:
Growth. Having this opportunity to look back on how far I have come has really allowed me to see the immense amount of growth that has happened in my life and in our family. Growing up, I always believed in Jesus, but it was a shallow faith and I definitely wasn't living a lifestyle that reflected that belief. Things slowly progressed as I got older, deepening little-by-little when Ty and I got married. I remember being asked to pray out loud in my early 20s and was so nervous. What if I prayed wrong? What if I sounded ridiculous? What do I even say? Oh, how I was wrong. Slowly, I allowed God to change and transform me, but I had to do the hard work. I think it's important to remember that growth is often a slow process. It takes time, attention, and perseverance to get to where we want to be. Growth happens when we are willing to put in the work and by stretching ourselves and our abilities by reaching outside of our comfort zone. When I began to do this, I realized I actually became a lot more comfortable doing the hard things that were once uncomfortable for me. I have realized through this time of reflection how grateful I am for the growth that has taken place in my life and I'm eager for what my future holds in my walk with the Lord.
Oftentimes, we don't notice the growth that is actually taking place until we look back and see where we once were and where we are now. God is constantly at work in our lives, and these slow, steady moments make for big changes in the end. This season, I am thankful for not only the growth I've made personally or the growth our family has made, but also for a heart and mind that crave growth. I want to be a person who is always willing to change and grow and be willing to do the hard work it takes to get there. I heard a song the morning of my testimony that I will cling to as I continue to put in the work to grow each day. It said, "I'm not yet where I'm going, but I'm a long way from where I was." and I just want to shout that from the rooftop - amen, amen, AMEN!
Forgiveness. Forgiveness can be tough. Whether it be that you're seeking forgiveness from someone or having to forgive someone, it is never an easy process. As I looked back on my journey, I became increasingly grateful for the act of forgiveness. Grateful to my parents for not holding my mistakes above my head and always being willing to move forward. Grateful for being able to forgive people in my past that caused me severe pain. Grateful to my husband for not only offering me forgiveness when I've wronged him, but also for seeking forgiveness when he's wronged me. Grateful for those sweet little hugs and kisses of forgiveness from my babies when I have to humble myself and apologize when I reacted wrong.
Jesus's death on the cross was the ultimate act of forgiveness, and one I never want to take for granted. Every day, I resort back to my comfortable, sinful behavior. It's a war each of us has to fight daily because that behavior is easy. It is easy to react out of anger. It's easy to be selfish and do what makes you "feel good." But that is not the life I want for myself, my husband, or our kids. And quite honestly, it's not the life I want for anyone. I am grateful that when those moments happen though, God is there to convict me and says, "I've got you. I forgive you, but this is not what I want for you. This is that not the person I'm calling you to be. Make the situation right, learn from it, and move forward." I am grateful that my mistakes in my past, present, and future do not define who I am as a person. I am grateful for clean slates and endless forgiveness.
Health. More than ever this year, I am grateful for not only my health, but more importantly, my family's health. This year, I have seen of countless people face devastating circumstances. My best friend's mother is currently battling stage 4 cancer far too early in her life, a member of our church just lost his sister after losing his mom only a couple of months ago, sweet Danica went to be with Jesus at the mere age of five after a long battle with a brain tumor, and most recently, one of my past students died in a sudden car crash last week. I know that when our hearts ache as we figure out how to deal with illnesses and death, Jesus's heart aches alongside us. In the midst of these heartaches, He promises to be our strength and holds us up when we cannot do it on our own. I do not know what this next year will bring in our family, but I do know I have a God that will walk alongside me, whatever we may have to face.
With the many health complications in our world, I PRAISE Jesus that my entire family is healthy. I praise Him for guarding us from serious illnesses because I know not everyone this year has been so fortunate and I do not take that lightly. If you are facing really difficult health complications, please know I am praying deeply for you. I pray for full healing because we serve a God who is big and is the ultimate healer.
Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, so that He may lift you up at the appropriate time. Cast all your worries on Him, for He cares for you.
1 Peter 5: 6-7
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Contentment. About two years ago, Ty and I started the process of looking for a new house. Needless to say, we've been on the hunt since then. As many of you have noticed, or experienced, this last year the housing market skyrocketed, which left us in a predicament. We could choose to move forward, compromising all buyer benefits, paying $200,000+ more than what the house is actually worth, and causing a lot more stress on ourselves. Or, on the other hand, we could practice contentment - something I believe many of us struggle with.
Marriage. Two specific areas brought me to tears as I read my testimony aloud. Jude's journey over the years and when we reached our lowest point in our marriage. A few years ago, I didn't know what the future looked like for me and Ty. We have never spoken the words divorce, as we never even made it an option, but we were not in a good spot. We were struggling to communicate, we had our priorities out of line, and we were having a difficult time loving each other well. I was naive to believe that because our marriage was centered around Jesus that times like these would never happen. So, let me say it so you hear it loud and clear: marriage is hard and takes work. I believe, as humans, we're just naturally selfish people and struggle to practice humility and because of that, marriage can be difficult. But more importantly, it's a beautiful gift God created for us. Going back to those dark times made me praise God over and over again for how far we've come. Our marriage is not perfect by any means, but over the last three years, we have grown to be strong partners in all aspects of our lives. We've learned to prioritize our marriage above all else - yes, including our kids! (unpopular opinion, I know) But, we have come to realize that our kids need to recognize that a strong marriage is pivotal in creating a strong, thriving household. I thank God deeply for my marriage, for my husband, and for the desire to continue to grow together.
This Thanksgiving, I pray our eyes would be opened to the abundant blessings around us. I pray that even when we are facing dark times, that a small glimmer of hope would shine bright for us. As I sit here and reflect on how far I have come in my journey, I am humbled by the fact that I would not be where I am without God's guidance, without the people He has intentionally placed in my life, and without a willingness to change my mind, heart, and everyday practices.
Post a Comment