Why do we expect life to be easy?

I was caught off guard with this question the other morning, as Ty came up from his work out.

"Uh... I don't know." Solid answer, Tye. You really nailed that one.

"Seriously, though. Why would we expect things to be smooth and easy when the Bible clearly says that we will be faced with trials?" 

My husband is one of the most insightful people I know. Try to tell him that, however, and he will tell you that there is someone smarter and can express their thoughts better, but, he challenges my thinking in so many ways. He simply does not give himself enough credit. God often speaks through him to me.

This question, in particular, really got me thinking, and thus, researching the truth of what God says we can expect in our life on earth. 

In John 16:33, Jesus is speaking to his disciples and says, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Jesus wasn't telling them, if you face troubles, he was in fact assuring them that they would face trials as believers. 

I don't know about you guys, but since COVID hit in the spring, I have been in a slump. I have felt anxiety and depression in a way that I never have before, which has been a difficult experience for me. But, as I sit here and read this scripture and chew on what Ty presented to me, it helps. God never promised me an easy life. He never said I will not have to face trials, feel pain, depression, anxiety, or that my path will be easy. He simply says that when we face trials, He's got us.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep you over. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. - Isaiah 43:2

Again... When, when, when. Not if.

My husband is a man that thinks in analogies and pictures. In discussing this particular topic, he put it something like this: It's a process similar to refining precious metals or diamonds. Initially, it's dirty, rugged, and you can't yet see the beauty beneath it. The process takes time and intentionality in order to get to the final product. A diamond does not just appear. It first must be discovered, or mined, recognizing its potential to become something beautiful, rare, and refined one day once you crack away the hard exterior. Impurities must be removed and sorted out in order for the diamond, or precious metal, to be revealed. And yet even still, it takes time to thoroughly clean them, preparing them to become what they are meant to be. One day, they will reach a point where they shine beautifully because of the work that went into each one individually, however, there will come a time when they will fog up again, get dirty, and need more attention. That will never go away. A diamond will never shine to its greatest potential without consistent and intentional upkeep and attention. We are like diamonds. Each trial we face is a step in building us up to our greatest potential. God sees what we can become underneath all the grime and hardships. He knows what we need to become the people He created us to be, and so those moments of suffering are not to intentionally cause us pain and turmoil, but to offer us opportunities to get rid of our impurities and become more refined and mature in the process.

James, Jesus' brother, exclaims in his letter in James 1:2 that we should actually consider it joy when we face trials. Yes, I know... easier said than done. It is in these moments, however, that our true character shines - good or bad. I know people that are masters at being able to see joy in the midst of suffering. People that are in so much pain internally, but can also clearly see God working and praise Him continuously. To me, that is an incredible testament to someone's faith. I want to be that person deeply, but I'm just not there quite yet. It's a marathon, not a sprint, right?  

In this chapter, through his faith in God, James is basically instructing us to be grateful for the trials we face and find joy through them because, as it says in verses 3-4, "...because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." It is in these moments of grief, sorrow, and darkness that the Lord is fully and completely at work in our hearts, growing us and maturing our character. 

Imagine what the world is going to think and begin to wonder when they see you continue to glorify our Lord even when you are hurting. Even when you lost your job. Your husband cheated. You experience the death of a family member or friend. I have been there. I have been angry and questioned God. So, let me just say, that I am not trying to negate your true and often painful feelings and thoughts. Jesus isn't either. While Jesus is fully God, He is also fully human, and while on earth, experienced unmet needs (Luke 9:58), betrayal (John 13:21, 38; 18:2), exhaustion (John 4:6), grief and sorrow (Matthew 26: 38-39), temptation (Hebrews 2:18), physical and emotional suffering (Matthew 27), and felt extreme anguish (Matthew 27:46). He knows your heart and what you are feeling and it is because of this that He is able to feel the utmost empathy for what you're going through. Considering it pure joy when we face trials offers the world a chance to see that even though God allows really hard things to happen in our lives, He does so so that we can grow and mature into strong people as a result. Beyond even our own growth and maturity, our struggles are a unique opportunity for us to love and serve others by being able to extend empathy and love when others are hurting. It is through these moments that the world gets a glimpse into who God truly is: nurturing, patient, kind, strong, and filled with unconditional love and grace for us.

I just finished listening to an episode of Jennie Allen's podcast "Made for This" in which she interviewed a lady who went through a near 18-month immigration trial in West Africa while she was there on mission. She said this and I just loved it, "Jesus didn't come to shield us from these things. He didn't come to shield our emotions. He didn't come to shield us from the reality of experiencing grief or loss or apathy. He came to dignify that and say, 'I'm going to enter in to be able to say with you: I am here and I get it. And I also have my own humanity that can stand with you, beside you, behind you in the midst of these things."

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." - James 1:12

How then, do we persevere through these moments that feel hopeless, dark, and uneasy? How do we know that God is with us and has not forgotten us? Put simply, He repeatedly promises to be with us through our trials. He promises to provide for our every need. (Philippians 4:19, Matthew 6: 25-34, Proverbs 10:3, Philippians 4:6, Hebrews 11:6, 1 Corinthians 10:13, Isaiah 41:10 ... to name just a few) 

On a daily basis, I think about a sermon our pastor did on how God provided for the Israelites when they were freed from Egypt. They were told to only go out and collect enough manna to feed their family for that day and were not to take their rations for the next day. (Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.") Some people simply did not trust that God would provide for their needs again, so they disobeyed and collected more food anyways. As the next day came, they soon discovered that their manna had become rotten. 

So, here is my daily reminder when I look back on this story: God provides what we need for that moment, that day, hour, minute, and second, so we have to remain faithful that He will provide again. Trying to take on tomorrow's worries today will only leave us with rotten manna in our hands. God will never leave us or abandon us. He will show up again and again. 

For me, when I find myself going through a difficult time in my life, I know that is a time I must dig deep. I have to be so incredibly intentional, because if I'm not, it's extremely easy for me to feel alone and distant from God. I don't want these moments of my life to be merely survival. I want to see God work through them and in me so that the world can see the goodness of God. The God that carries us when we simply cannot carry ourselves. The God that shows immense grace and love time after time. 

I don't know about you, but my soul craves rest. I am tired. When you look around the world we live in right now, there is so much going on. So many inputs. So many words, opinions, thoughts, ideas, you name it. While some are good, challenging, and produce growth, the majority of it is just distracting noise. 

I love the way Bridgetown introduces the idea of Sabbath on their Practicing the Way series. 

"We live in a cultural moment of restlessness. The unsatisfied desires of our human condition are exacerbated by the barrage of digital marketing from a consumption-oriented, consumer-driven economy. We have multi-billion dollar, multi-national industries hovering over our minds – via our devices – in an attempt to monetize our restlessness. But rest doesn’t come from buying a product; it comes from Sabbath. A word that literally means stopping. The Sabbath is an entire day set aside to stop - stop working, stop wanting, stop worrying, etc.—and to simply rest in God’s presence.

Most followers of Jesus (at least, in the modern, Western world) no longer practice Sabbath. This means many of us are missing out on one of the most life-giving practices of the way of Jesus, and arguably, one of the most important for our cultural moment." Bridgetown Church - Practicing the Way

After listening to that podcast I previously mentioned, I came to Ty and said, "I think we should start practicing Sabbath in our home." At this point in our journey, we were learning, growing, and implementing many different practices to deepen our faith and set our family on a good path, so of course he said yes. He's a good man. 

We sat down and figured out what we wanted this day to look like for our family. We decided to Sabbath Saturday to Sunday, starting it off with a nice, big dinner and dessert. We do not do work on this day, so we spend Saturday morning getting the house clean and in order, getting the laundry done and put away, doing any yard work or projects that need to get done, etc. We start to transition into our Sabbath around 3:30 on Saturday, at which point I turn on some music, pour a glass of wine, and start cooking. In our family, we love food and I love cooking, so this brings me/us a lot of joy to have this time, but if cooking isn't your thing, do what brings you joy. Order a meal from your favorite restaurant (which we do periodically!), or go out to eat. Make it work for you and make it special. When we started this, I bought a new tablecloth and candle holder with five candles on it. The kids know that whenever I get these two things out, it's time for Sabbath. When we sit down for our meal, we each get to light our candle and share one thing we're thankful for. We would also like to add in a good reading to do before dinner, but we're still looking for the right one. Point being: Do what works for your family. Make it your own special time together.

"‘There are six days when you may work, but the seventh day is a day of sabbath rest, a day of sacred assembly. You are not to do any work; wherever you live, it is a sabbath to the Lord." - Leviticus 23:3

The rest of the day is filled with countless other things such as getting outside as a family, going for a drive, watching movies, playing, playing, playing, taking naps, writing, journalling, drawing, etc. Ultimately, we step away from our worry, anxiety, busyness, and joy-suckingness (is that a word? Hmm...) the world lays on our shoulders. One very easy, specific way we do this is by stepping away from our phones. No social media, no mindless browsing, etc. We put our phones away and only use them to call or text if we need to. Ultimately, we seek to do things on Sabbath that a) bring us closer to the Lord and allow us to worship Him and all He's provided for us and b) bring peace, joy, and rest to our lives so that we can more genuinely worship the Lord.

"There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God;" Hebrews 4:9

I need to be completely authentic here for just a second, though. Please don't read this and have a picture in your head of a home of complete peace, no tantrums, no disciplines, no fighting, no having to wipe bottoms, kids that completely obey, no impatience... you get the picture. We try to create the most peaceful environment we can, but let's be real here... we have a 6, 5, and almost 4-year-old. There is very little peace and quiet until 8:00PM in our home. And to be honest, I really struggled with how to balance and embrace that in the midst of trying to have this day of "rest" each week. I still do. Loud yelling and big messes do not bring me peace, but watching my kids play, laugh, create, and imagine does brings me immense joy. I am working on trying to loosen the reigns a bit, let go of my own selfish desires, and just allow this to be a day that fills them up, as well. So, while there is still chaos, it's more important to me that the kids understand the significance of this day and why God created the Sabbath for us. 

As we started this process, I wondered what this day would look like for us. Saturday is usually the day we get together with friends, other family members, do date night, sleepovers, etc. Because of this, I wasn't sure how to find balance in saying yes to things and still keeping this day sacred. In one podcast I listened to they said when it comes to deciding what to say yes to, and what they need to pass on, they always run it through the filter of if that event will be life-giving or not. I loved this approach and could easily wrap my head around, so in our house, we also use this. If the thing is going to cause you more stress, anxiety, separate you from the Lord, disrupt peace in the hearts of you or your family, don't feel bad saying no.

Because of the season of life we are in, Sabbath hasn't always felt like "Christmas morning" around here. There have been some really, really hard days. Our first couple of Sabbath experiences were quite incredible. Our home felt different. Our kids acted different. I walked into Sunday evening actually feeling rested. And then... it changed. As we begin to implement rhythms into our lives that draw us closer to the Lord, we will inevitably be faced with spiritual attack. Shortly after, our Sabbaths were chaos, thoroughly lacking peace and rest. I don't know what to do. This isn't what I expected. This isn't what I want for us. After those first few weeks and hearing how others experienced Sabbath, our expectations were high and all of a sudden, those expectations were not being met. We felt defeated. We felt like giving up.

Listen, it can definitely be hard. Dishes still have to get done, siblings are still going to argue, there will still have to be disciplines. Ty and I have had many, many discussions on how we can improve this day, new rhythms and practices we could implement to change the pace, and how to keep this day from feeling like any other day. When you are studying the subject and hear what a glorious experience it is for some families, you wonder what you're doing wrong. About a month ago, as we were discussing it, Ty said he felt like we were overcomplicating it. "Let's just keep it simple. Good food, no phones, spend time as a family." We had to adjust our expectations.

So, the key to our Sabbath? Simplicity. There is so much around us that strives to complicate, weigh down, and distract us from what is most important. We have to be willing to step away from all of that, at least for a moment, for our own mental health. Take a moment to be with God. Rest as He rested. And if this is a new practice for you and your family, do not expect perfection immediately. We're about a year into it, and we still haven't fully gotten there. Trust the process, trust that the Lord will provide, and trust that you're doing the right work.

If you'd like more information on Sabbath, Bridgetown Church in Portland, Oregon does an entire Sabbath series, both John Mark and Jefferson write about it in their books, and some of my favorite podcasts on the topic have come from Jeremy Pryor, his wife, and one of their daughter on the Family Teams podcast.

Communication has never been one of my strong suits.

Even still to this day, I would rather write an email or letter because it helps me think through what I want to say and keeps from jumbling up my thoughts. Up until recently in my marriage, when I felt wronged, hurt, or even just had something wrestling around in my mind, I didn't know how to get that across to Ty. Instead of having a normal, healthy conversation, I would ignore it. I would sit on it. I would let it stew until eventually it passed.

A little over a year ago, I started following Jeremy and Audrey Roloff on Instagram. I'm not one to follow celebrities, but was drawn to these two after first learning about their marriage ministry, Beating 50 Percent. Jeremy's family became famous with their TLC show, Little People, Big World. However, since they've stepped away, I have loved seeing both of them in a new light where they are honoring God, honoring the convenient of marriage, and building up other couples in the process. Last year, they shared their marriage journey in their book A Love Letter Life, along with practical advice they've found to be successful in building their own marriage.

I read this book quickly and loved all they stood for. Within these pages, they introduce a series of six questions they created prior to writing A Love Letter Life in a book called, The Marriage Journal. If I could gift couples, at any stage in their marriage, with one thing, this would be it. After listening to them talk about it both in this book, and on their podcast, Behind the Scenes, I approached Ty asking him if he would be up for doing these questions with me. I didn't have the book, but found the questions on another resource they had put out, so I created my own page, which we still use. 

About a year ago, I did a quick video on Facebook sharing my love for these questions and had a HUGE response from people asking for me to send them my copy of the questions, which I happily sent to probably 40+ people. I have also gifted The Marriage Journal book a few times to couples because I believe in it wholeheartedly. I can't WAIT to share them with you today, also!

The process is really quite simple. Once a week, couples are encouraged to sit down and answer the same six questions. We do ours on Sunday most weeks and it has become a sacred time for us. The questions cover a multitude of areas in which couples struggle to communication and/or just don't communicate about. Thankfully, I have the best husband, and at this point in our lives, things were starting to change in us, so he was open to anything that would bring life back into our marriage and home. We committed to sitting down together once a week and going through these questions together. So, to this day, I print out the questions, write down each of our our answers, and keep each one in a 3-ring binder.

Despite the simplicity of it, it has been completely transformational in our marriage. Communication was an area that we struggled with, but since doing these questions, we've learned to share the good, the hard, the ugly and difficult, and have dreamt together about where we feel God leading us.

So, let me briefly take you through the questions...

Question #1: What brought you joy this week?

How often in marriage, do we only focus on the hard elements of our day/week? I know I tend to do that more often than I'd like. I love this question because every time we answer it, I see a smile smear across our faces as we reminisce about the small and big joys of the week.

Question #2: What was something that was hard this week?

Because life is hard. And I found that as we share our struggles, we're either very much on the same page with things, or we see difficult areas of each other's lives that we might've been oblivious to throughout the week.

Question #3: What's one specific thing I can do for you this week?

I am beyond guilty of assuming my husband should know how I need help throughout the week. I have thought... I shouldn't have to TELL YOU how I need help. You should just know. I mean, come'on. How unhealthy is that thought alone? Communication people. Just tell them straight up.

Question #4: How can I pray for you this week?

Another question I love because of what it brings to the surface. Things I never realized my husband was even struggling with have come out through this question. It gives us specific areas in which we can serve each other through prayer.

Question #5: Is there anything that's gone unsaid, convictions, confessions, or unresolved hurt?

This one is a biggie. I am a mix of a 2 and 9 on the Enneagram, which is the Helper/Peacemaker. I love this, but it has also caused me to avoid conflict at all costs. If I know it's going to be hard to discuss, or cause an argument, I just... don't. I've actually loved this question, though, because it's given me a safe place to bring things up that I wouldn't normally. 

Question #6: What a dream, desire, or thought that's been on the forefront of your mind this week?

This is one of my favorites. It has been a place of dreams, frustrations, ideas, and just a place to work through some hard things together. It was in this question that we decided to pursue looking for a home... and then not, worked through how to introduce Sabbath into our life, discussed how to handle tough situations with the kids, and this was where the idea of this blog was born. I truly love having a designated spot to dream and talk about the big stuff with my guy.

At the end of the six questions, you have an opportunity to ask each other any other question(s) you might have.

End in prayer.

Following the questions and prayer time, we review our weekly schedule, which is also part of The Marriage Journal book if you were to go that route. This. Has. Been. Huge! How many times has something come up throughout the week and the conversation goes a little something like this...

Her: "Don't forget we have that meeting tonight."

Him: "What meeting?"

Her: "That meeting! I told you about it. We talked about it a few days ago. Remember?"

Him: "No you didn't. I haven't heard anything about this meeting."

Her: "Are you kidding me?? We talked about it."

And cue argument. Right? We have found that laying out our weekly engagements and commitments has hugely eliminated unnecessary arguments. We're able to discuss when and where we need to be so that throughout the week there are no surprises. Life changing.

There are also two other questions we usually discuss once a month, which are also part of The Marriage Journal.

1. How are we stewarding our finances?

2. How is our sex life?

Again, two very important questions that can lead to so many arguments, stress, and tension in a marriage and need to be discussed regularly and openly.

I cannot fully express what a gift these questions have been for our lives and our marriage. Every week we do them, the thought runs through my mind, "Why is every married couple not doing this?" God works deeply in each of us every single time we sit down and answer them. Walls begin crumbling and hearts are softened. 

I remember a time when Ty and I were fighting big time. I couldn't even begin to tell you what it was about, but Sunday night rolled around. Typically, Ty and I would sit together on Sunday afternoon and go through these, but the busyness of the day prevented that from happening, so here we were, right before bed, tired and angry with one another. He looked at me and said, "Alright. Let's do our questions."

I just started crying and said, "I don't want to do our questions."

He graciously, and calmly, looked at me and said, "I know. Me neither. But these are the times we need them the most." 

And you know what? By the end of it, and many tears later (on my end - haha!) we got through them and the argument was over. We were able to communicate where our hearts were and the dust settled quickly.

I will tell you, as you can see from the picture above, it's not always easy to make it through the questions with littles. There are many times I want to throw in the towel and say, "We'll try again later." But, I also believe it is hugely important for our kids to see us prioritizing our marriage and not stopping an extremely important practice in our lives, just to cater to their every need. I want my kids to see us pouring into our relationship with the Lord by pouring into our marriage.

Showing our kids how we prioritize each other and our marriage is one of the most important things we can do for them in preparing them for how they will one day live out their own marriage.

Friends. I love you. That is why I am desperate to share the PDF of The Marriage Journal questions we use, but better than that... support Jeremy and Audrey's marriage ministry by buying the book yourselves. You will not be disappointed.

I remember being 12-years-old and thinking how I could not wait to be a mom someday. I had a beautiful picture in my head of what motherhood looked like (nothing hard or negative, of course.) and I was so eager for the opportunity to get to experience this one day.

When Ty and I got married, I thought, "Okay, awesome. It'll just be us for a few months, and then wham - baby time!" But my dear, sweet, level-headed husband had other plans. You see, before getting married, Ty actually didn't want kids. He had planned to live a pretty low-key lifestyle and had no intention of disturbing that setup with kids. ...and then I came waltzing into his life with all the baby dreams floating about in my head.

In our first 3 years of marriage, our biggest arguments revolved around when to have a baby. Ty was working constantly and also in the middle of nursing school, and anyone who has gone through that before, knows how grueling and time consuming it is. He kept saying that it was just not the time and we needed to wait until he got through it. "I want to be there for that. I don't want to always be gone or busy." he would say. And then I would cry. It was hard. It was really hard.

After becoming a mom, I soon realized it was much more than picking out a cute name and dressing them up. I still thank Ty for keeping me grounded during this time. And, as always, thank God for his perfect timing timing.

Since I gave you the ins and outs of mine and Ty's journey last week, I wanted to introduce you to the three greatest gifts the Lord could have ever given us.

On May 31st, 2014, one day after my due date, I woke Ty up around midnight telling him that I thought it was time. I was completely terrified, excited, nervous, and anxious, not having any idea what to expect. After about four hours, with a room full of our family, we welcomed our beautiful boy, and our lives changed forever.

Jude James. Our long awaited baby. Nothing could have fully prepared me for the flood of emotions that would follow the birth of our first child. I remember holding him for days after he was born and just sobbing, thanking God that I got to be his mom. He was a light in our lives. 

Even at an early age, his mind worked in such a unique way. When he was two, he was lining up all his cars and dinosaurs by kind, color, and size. When he was three, he would spend an hour setting up an entire army scene with his soldiers, tanks, trees, and hideouts, but then not actually want to play because he didn't want to mess it up. And this was intriguing for a while. It was sweet the way he would play. But, it slowly progressed into some really difficult OCD-like behaviors. He was "diagnosed" with anxiety and sensory-avoidance disorder when he was just 4-years-old. You can watch more on our journey with that here.

Our family has grown so much in Jude's short little life. In a way, I'm thankful for what we went through. James 1:2-3 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." To see our trials and suffering through the lens of a joyful heart is not easy, and definitely something I couldn't do while we were in it. But, looking back on that time in our lives, I can see clearly that this trial transformed our hearts and ultimately, our family.

From that time in his life, Jude has developed and grown into the most incredible boy. I still look at him in awe the I get to be his mommy and I couldn't be more proud of the person he is becoming.

For the last few years, he has come to love everything about the United States Military. He's adamant about joining the army when he's old enough, and now I find myself worried that this is actually a thing and will happen. Lately, I've been asking the people I know in the military, "At what point in your life did you know you wanted to go into the military?" to which most will answer... as a child. Thankfully, he has given me about 14 years to prepare my heart to let him go do what the Lord has called him to do.

Next week, he starts kindergarten and couldn't be more excited. He's an eager learner, which *fingers-crossed*, never goes away. He's kind, inclusive, a healthy mix of tough and gentle, and extremely protective of his people. The kid has a bright future ahead of him and I couldn't be more grateful he's ours.

Jude was about 7 months when we found out we were pregnant with our sweet middle girl, Sawyer Grace. When I was pregnant with her, we were heavy into watching The Voice, which happened to be the season that Sawyer Fredericks was on there. If you've never heard him sing, go listen to him now. You're welcome. We love him. As we sat watching one night, we agreed, boy or girl, we would name this baby Sawyer.

Our Soy-girl was ready to enter this world immediately when the contractions started. After checking into the hospital, she was born exactly 1 hour later. No time for epidural or pain meds. We laugh now because my poor sister, who took some amazing photos of Jude's labor and birth planned on taking some with Sawyer, also. Not thinking we were in a huge rush, she got to the hospital just slightly before Sawyer.

She was born around 12:15AM on what was supposed to be, my first day of the new school year.

From the time she was a baby, Sawyer has had the most delicate, calm, quiet demeanor. We would say she was in her own little world because she could sit and play by herself quietly forever. She's still a very independent little girl in many aspects of her life.

For as long as I can remember, she has loved everything pink, frilly, sparkly, shiny, fluffy, and of course, covered in unicorns. She has beautiful, long Rapunzel-like hair (Ty refuses to cut it 😬) and has the biggest, brightest blue eyes ever. She talks with the sweetest little Jersey-like accent, so when she tells someone her name it sounds like, "Soy-ya". It's adorable.

Over the last year, we've really been able to see her come into her own and it's been both wonderful and an extremely hard season for her. Her sensitive little heart cannot handle when she feels like you are being mean or you've wronged her in any way, so we're learning that our approach with a little girl is far different than what we experienced with Jude. There is a lot more talking. Lots and lots of talking. In all areas, she needs kinder, softer, and gentler. 

She's uses this same approach in how she handles and cares for animals. Our girl loves any and all animals and often tells me she wants to be a zoo keeper when she gets older. She has moved from loving unicorns to loving the very much extinct, Tasmanian Tiger, thanks to her obsession with Wild Kratts.

The other day we were talking about Ocean Ramsey's documentary Saving Jaws and it completely broke our girl's heart what's happening to sharks around the world. She looks at me, and as serious as ever says, "Oh, that is just soo sad. When I get older I'm going to let a shark eat me. I feel so bad." She has such a genuine heart for all animals. Her love and gentle care for them is a window into her compassionate nature. She is always thinking of others and how to help them. Every day, I see her grow to be more and more like Jesus and I'm constantly learning from her, what a joy it is to be her mama.

Our third, and finally baby made her very, very quick debut on a cold January afternoon. I had taught all day and started feeling some uncomfortable pains once getting home. Nothing terrible, but close together, so we headed to the hospital shortly after. When they checked me in, the nurse said, "Well, you really don't seem like you're in labor, so don't get too comfortable. We will probably end up sending you home." Turns out, I was dilated to 9cm. She started to freak out a bit and quickly called in the doctor to double check.

Throughout the next hour I felt pain, but it was highly manageable. It was a weird experience. I would be laughing with everyone, stop for a minute to work through the contraction with my eyes closed, and then go back to laughing.

At one point, I shifted, had a contraction and said, "She's coming!" and our precious #3 was here in 2 pushes.

Our spunky girl, Quynn Elise, has been keeping us on our toes ever since. 

Quynny is such a little firecracker. When she's feeling especially feisty, she grits her teeth off to the side, talks in a funny growly voice, and calls me a big chicky. Over the years, she has developed the most fun and creative personality. She could play make-believe for hours and always has elaborate stories to tell of all that's happening in her make-believe world. She loves Disney princesses and desperately wants to go to Disneyland so she can visit one in real life. You can often find her in a princess dress, spinning in slow circles, and singing to the Frozen 2 soundtrack in the kitchen.

She also is a bit more reserved and keeps to herself more than the others. She's the most shy of the three and has a hard time stepping out of the comfort of what she's familiar with. I posted on Facebook the other day that if you ever try to say hi to her, ask for a hug or kiss, or simply say, "Hello!" to her and she gives you one of her famous scowls, it's not you... it's her. She's a bit of a sassy pants, but boy do we love her.

Raising these little babes has been such an honor and each of them brings such a unique aspect to our team. Most of the time, I have no idea what the heck I'm doing and often find myself saying, "I wish God would just tell me what to do." Raising children is definitely not for the faint hearted. It has tested me in ways I never thought to be possible and has brought me to near breaking points, but what an absolute gift it is to get to pour into this next generation and get to teach them every day about the love of Jesus.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 6: 5-7

Our greatest goal for them as they grow up is that they would learn to love God and love people.

When an expert on the law stood up to test Jesus in Luke 25, asking Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life, Jesus made it so simple and clear.

vs. 27 "He answered, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'love your neighbor as yourself.'"

So, that's it. It's that simple. Love God. Love people. We need more of this in our world.

When Jude turned 6, he asked me, "Is it alright if now that I'm 6, I can call you mom instead of mommy?" In that moment, my heart ached at how fast time is passing. When you're living it every day, you are a bit oblivious to the the immense changes happening right before your eyes and the speed it's happening. I often have to remind myself that this is a good thing and this is why God trusted us with these sweet souls. Each stage is new, different, and hard. Raising these little ones has kept me fully dependent on the Lord because there is no possible way I could do it without His guidance, strength, and grace.

Now, if you'll excuse me... I have three precious babies to go love on.