We were reading the kids' Bible the other night before bed when we came upon the story of Mary and Martha. If you haven't read it, the story goes something like this...

There were two sisters, Mary and Martha, who welcomed Jesus into their home for the night. Martha, like many of us, saw all that needed to be done to prepare for guests - the cooking, the cleaning, etc. - and was focused on getting all the things done. And while Martha was hard at work, Mary sat at the feet of Jesus listening to all he had to say and marveling at his goodness. Martha naturally became very upset that Mary was not helping her, saying to Jesus, "Lord don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

Jesus replied, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed - or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

I came to Ty the next morning and said, "Ugh. I'm Martha. I need to be more Mary, but I am all Martha right now."

Lately, I've felt a stirring inside of me and have been continually hearing that I need to be abiding in Christ more. 

Lord, why do I not have more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? To obtain the Fruits of the Spirit, you must abide in Me. 

Lord, why do I feel disconnected? How can you connect with someone you do not spend time with regularly? Abide in me. 

Lord, my faith feels surface level. How can you expect to have a deep faith when I am an afterthought? Abide in me.

Lord, I want my children to know You, trust You, and faithfully walk with You. Then you must model it for them every single day. Abide in me.

When learning a new skill or concept, what must we do in order to have a deeper understanding of it and to become better at it? Spend time actually doing it, right? It's no different here, so why would I expect it to be? But to be honest, this is a sincere struggle for me. It is not my go-to and it does not come naturally to me yet. I'm still trying to figure out what this looks like and how to do it in a way that is authentic and instinctual.

As many know, when you have littles, time is scarce. Sitting down for any length of time is difficult to do because you're either thinking of all the things that need to get done (guilty!) or you're quickly interrupted by someone who needs something. I listened to a Bridgetown sermon the other day titled "Pray as you Can" which was such a good message that prayer is going to look different for each person and within each season of life. The point is, though, that we pray however we can, whenever we can in our current circumstances. I think I have gotten this picture in my head that prayer, and time with the Lord in general, must look a certain way. The house must be clean, the candle lit, the coffee hot, blah,blah,blah. And don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE those moments when that is what my time with Jesus looks like. However, if I am always waiting around for my circumstances to fit into that picture of what I believe "abiding" looks like, then I will constantly be chasing after something that is simply unattainable in my life right now. Not to say it doesn't happen, but it's rare, which means that my abiding in Christ is going to have to look a little messier these days.

What I am coming to realize and learn from this is that abiding means more than just my daily time with Him. It's going through the grind of life hand-in-hand with Him. It means that when I have asked my children 800 times to brush their teeth and put their shoes on in the morning, and I've reach my limit and am about to lose it, I go to Him instead and pray, "Lord, give me more of whatever I need to love them well and show them Your grace and mercy." It means that when Ty and I have had an argument and I want to prove my point and show him just how wrong he was by giving him the silent treatment, I go to Jesus and say, "Humble me, Lord. Help me seek forgiveness and show forgiveness." It means that when I have small moments of victory as a wife, mother, daughter, friend, human-being, I say, "Thank you, Lord. That was amazing." Abiding is not simply just a single moment in my day... it needs to become my all day, everyday walk with God. 

Coming to this realization is a good first step. We can't be Mary forever, right? Things have to get done around the house. Laundry must get washed, the kitchen must get cleaned, kids have to be bathed, food has to be cooked. But the difference is that Mary's heart was in the right place. Abiding in Christ is being able to go through all of the tasks of the day with Jesus by my side. Praying as I go throughout my day, seeking guidance, working through the hard moments, and praising Him in the good ones.

However, let me just set the record straight...this is not something I've mastered. This is not even something I'm good at. Right now, it is merely something I have come to realize and desperately want. It is a message I'm hearing over and over, and typically when that happens, it's because it's something I need to hear. So, I'm doing my best to listen and study it and better understand it so that I can actually live it out in my daily life. I so badly want to be the type of person that takes everything to God first. I do not want to continue down the path of reacting immediately without seeking God's help in the situation. I want to be the person that naturally pours out the Fruits of the Spirit on those around her. But hear me loud and clear - I am not that person... yet. This is a spiritual discipline that is going to take intentionality, hard work, and years of practice. I know that as I continue down this path, my heart will be shifted to be more like Mary's - obedient, adoring, and in awe of Jesus' presence in my life. And my Martha brain will begin to realize that while the daily tasks still must get done, they are insignificant in comparison to being filled with the Holy Spirit so that all day, everyday, I get to walk in step with Jesus, abiding in him through it all.

I remember one year, before I had kids - obviously, I spent the entire month of November posting on Facebook something I was thankful for every single day. I spent a luxurious amount of time taking the just the right aesthetically pleasing picture of my coffee cup, classroom, cozy little apartment, etc. and writing just the right words to accompany it. Honestly, I wish I was better at this practice in my everyday life. It's kind of strange that we have to actually be intentional to recognize the immense amount of blessing around us that we have to be grateful for. I used to preach this to my students all the time. "Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day!" I had it plastered on my classroom door as a reminder, but was I living that out? Far too often I allow the difficult, unpleasant, and mediocre routines and incidents overrun the beauty of God's goodness throughout my day.

A couple of weeks ago, I was given the opportunity to share my testimony with our entire congregation at church. This is truly something so beyond my comfort zone, I could've just curled up and died. Nonetheless, I stood in front of our church, sharing my story and how God has been at work in Team Goodrich over the last few years. I began by sharing the fact that I have always felt as if I were a person with a testimony not really worth sharing. I think when we think of a testimony that is "worth sharing" we often consider people who have had a life changing moment, that big encounter with God, that moment when everything changed. Instead in my life, God slowly changed my heart over the course of many years with a series of big and small moments and seasons, each of which formed me into the woman I am today. As I sat down and wrote each words intentionally and carefully, my eyes were opened to the work God has done in our family and in my heart since I was young. Even in some of my darkest moments, He was there, shining a light on His blessings. Supportive parents that kept turning me back to Jesus when I'd walk away, sisters full of experience and wisdom, knowing Jesus from a young age, in-laws that love me like their own, a group of friends to walk through life with, job opportunities I had no idea I would love so much, a husband willing to do the hard work to grow together, and three beautiful, healthy children... just to name a few. I began to see that while I am so, so, SO thankful for a warm cup of coffee... this year, my gratitude for how far God has brought me runs so much deeper.

So, in the season of thankfulness, I wanted to use this experience to intentionally recognize some areas I'm thankful for:

Growth. Having this opportunity to look back on how far I have come has really allowed me to see the immense amount of growth that has happened in my life and in our family. Growing up, I always believed in Jesus, but it was a shallow faith and I definitely wasn't living a lifestyle that reflected that belief. Things slowly progressed as I got older, deepening little-by-little when Ty and I got married. I remember being asked to pray out loud in my early 20s and was so nervous. What if I prayed wrong? What if I sounded ridiculous? What do I even say? Oh, how I was wrong. Slowly, I allowed God to change and transform me, but I had to do the hard work. I think it's important to remember that growth is often a slow process. It takes time, attention, and perseverance to get to where we want to be. Growth happens when we are willing to put in the work and by stretching ourselves and our abilities by reaching outside of our comfort zone. When I began to do this, I realized I actually became a lot more comfortable doing the hard things that were once uncomfortable for me. I have realized through this time of reflection how grateful I am for the growth that has taken place in my life and I'm eager for what my future holds in my walk with the Lord. 

Oftentimes, we don't notice the growth that is actually taking place until we look back and see where we once were and where we are now. God is constantly at work in our lives, and these slow, steady moments make for big changes in the end. This season, I am thankful for not only the growth I've made personally or the growth our family has made, but also for a heart and mind that crave growth. I want to be a person who is always willing to change and grow and be willing to do the hard work it takes to get there. I heard a song the morning of my testimony that I will cling to as I continue to put in the work to grow each day. It said, "I'm not yet where I'm going, but I'm a long way from where I was." and I just want to shout that from the rooftop - amen, amen, AMEN!

Forgiveness. Forgiveness can be tough. Whether it be that you're seeking forgiveness from someone or having to forgive someone, it is never an easy process. As I looked back on my journey, I became increasingly grateful for the act of forgiveness. Grateful to my parents for not holding my mistakes above my head and always being willing to move forward. Grateful for being able to forgive people in my past that caused me severe pain. Grateful to my husband for not only offering me forgiveness when I've wronged him, but also for seeking forgiveness when he's wronged me. Grateful for those sweet little hugs and kisses of forgiveness from my babies when I have to humble myself and apologize when I reacted wrong. 

Jesus's death on the cross was the ultimate act of forgiveness, and one I never want to take for granted. Every day, I resort back to my comfortable, sinful behavior. It's a war each of us has to fight daily because that behavior is easy. It is easy to react out of anger. It's easy to be selfish and do what makes you "feel good." But that is not the life I want for myself, my husband, or our kids. And quite honestly, it's not the life I want for anyone. I am grateful that when those moments happen though, God is there to convict me and says, "I've got you. I forgive you, but this is not what I want for you. This is that not the person I'm calling you to be. Make the situation right, learn from it, and move forward." I am grateful that my mistakes in my past, present, and future do not define who I am as a person. I am grateful for clean slates and endless forgiveness. 

Health. More than ever this year, I am grateful for not only my health, but more importantly, my family's health. This year, I have seen of countless people face devastating circumstances. My best friend's mother is currently battling stage 4 cancer far too early in her life, a member of our church just lost his sister after losing his mom only a couple of months ago, sweet Danica went to be with Jesus at the mere age of five after a long battle with a brain tumor, and most recently, one of my past students died in a sudden car crash last week. I know that when our hearts ache as we figure out how to deal with illnesses and death, Jesus's heart aches alongside us. In the midst of these heartaches, He promises to be our strength and holds us up when we cannot do it on our own. I do not know what this next year will bring in our family, but I do know I have a God that will walk alongside me, whatever we may have to face.

With the many health complications in our world, I PRAISE Jesus that my entire family is healthy. I praise Him for guarding us from serious illnesses because I know not everyone this year has been so fortunate and I do not take that lightly. If you are facing really difficult health complications, please know I am praying deeply for you. I pray for full healing because we serve a God who is big and is the ultimate healer.

Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, so that He may lift you up at the appropriate time. Cast all your worries on Him, for He cares for you.

1 Peter 5: 6-7 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Contentment. About two years ago, Ty and I started the process of looking for a new house. Needless to say, we've been on the hunt since then. As many of you have noticed, or experienced, this last year the housing market skyrocketed, which left us in a predicament. We could choose to move forward, compromising all buyer benefits, paying $200,000+ more than what the house is actually worth, and causing a lot more stress on ourselves. Or, on the other hand, we could practice contentment - something I believe many of us struggle with. 

It's easy to be caught up in this world and want what everyone else has. It has always been something I've had to battle internally. Over the last few years, however, I have felt God lay it on my heart to be content with what He has provided, to be content where I am in the moment, and also to be content in whatever season of life I may find myself. Oftentimes, we think, "If only ____________ could happen. Then I will be happy and content." Or, "If only I had ____________. Then I would be happy and content." But I have learned that that narrative is a lie. True contentment and happiness comes from Christ alone. When we are constantly searching for the next great thing that is going to make us happy and content, we are going to be sorely disappointed because it will never truly fulfill us. 

As I reflected on my journey, more than ever I'm thankful that the Lord has been working on my ability to find peace and happiness through the practice of contentment. He is opening my eyes to see the abundant blessings around me more often instead of wishing for something new or different.

Marriage. Two specific areas brought me to tears as I read my testimony aloud. Jude's journey over the years and when we reached our lowest point in our marriage. A few years ago, I didn't know what the future looked like for me and Ty. We have never spoken the words divorce, as we never even made it an option, but we were not in a good spot. We were struggling to communicate, we had our priorities out of line, and we were having a difficult time loving each other well. I was naive to believe that because our marriage was centered around Jesus that times like these would never happen. So, let me say it so you hear it loud and clear: marriage is hard and takes work. I believe, as humans, we're just naturally selfish people and struggle to practice humility and because of that, marriage can be difficult. But more importantly, it's a beautiful gift God created for us. Going back to those dark times made me praise God over and over again for how far we've come. Our marriage is not perfect by any means, but over the last three years, we have grown to be strong partners in all aspects of our lives. We've learned to prioritize our marriage above all else - yes, including our kids! (unpopular opinion, I know) But, we have come to realize that our kids need to recognize that a strong marriage is pivotal in creating a strong, thriving household. I thank God deeply for my marriage, for my husband, and for the desire to continue to grow together.

This Thanksgiving, I pray our eyes would be opened to the abundant blessings around us. I pray that even when we are facing dark times, that a small glimmer of hope would shine bright for us. As I sit here and reflect on how far I have come in my journey, I am humbled by the fact that I would not be where I am without God's guidance, without the people He has intentionally placed in my life, and without a willingness to change my mind, heart, and everyday practices. 

Happy Thanksgiving, friends. I pray God would continue to open our eyes to all we have to be thankful for.

Hi friends.

It's been a bit, eh? I offered myself a little grace as summer approached as I found myself with three very busy children back at home full-time. We spent our summer at the parks trying to get there as early as possible before the slides scorched their poor little tushies, mooched off of our friend's pool (you are the best, Karissa! We love you!), and getting our weekly "Donut Thursday" fix, where the manager at Sure-to-Rise has come to know us as regulars. I showed up on a Tuesday once and he looked at me confused, "What are you guys doing here? It's not Thursday yet!" It was a busy summer, but one of our very best. It's interesting as you begin to enter new seasons of life with kids. Each with their own unique highs and lows. I used to think life was busy when they were babies. It felt like I was always running to & from, but that was nothing. We are finishing up a season of hurry and busy that has kind of wrecked me in a way. Three sports. That's it. But they were the stealers of our time and joy.

Here is what I have come to learn about myself through this last season: I despise busy & hurry. I knew this about myself before, but I never felt it quite so deeply as I have this last season. I literally even hate the terms & have tried to be aware to minimize their role in my vocabulary because that is simply not the life I want our family to live. 

"How have you been?"
"Good - but busy!"

"Hurry up and eat guys! We have practice in 30 minutes."

"Hurry up and get out the door. We have to get to school!"

"Our weekend was sooo busy."

"I have such a busy day ahead!"

What good comes from this? How does this build our relationships, our home, and our family team? I'll tell you what I've learned - it really doesn't. I can't remember a single time where I have felt peace and joy while being busy or in a hurry. And that is because they are incompatible. Maybe it's just me (please say it's not just me!) but when I am busy and hurried, I am the absolute worst version of myself. This is when I am most impatient, unloving, and unkind. 

"Corrie ten Boom once said that if the devil can't make you sin, he'll make you busy. There's truth in that. Both sin and busyness have the exact same effect - they cut off your connection to God, to other people, and even to your own soul." 

- The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

As we entered into one of our busiest seasons yet, I felt out of control and ill-equipped to live it out well. Having one kid in a sport is one thing, but three separate activities - no thank you. I sought guidance from people that have been there before and seemed to have it mastered, but still found myself floundering to embrace it all. So, as we marched into this fall with a different commitment each night, I dove deep into teaching the kids about the idea of margin. And to be honest with you, this was incredible practice for me, too. I will just preface this by saying, our first few weeks of school were rough. There was sooo much rushing. There was sooo much hurry! And there are still days now that are hard. It has taken us time to get into the rhythm of giving ourselves margin to eliminate hurry, but now, when I say, "I need your guys' help in giving us margin so we're not impatient and stressed getting out of the house." they understand what I mean, and they help. I even had Sawyer ask me the other day, "Do we have enough margin still, mom?" Mornings, which used to be one of the most stressful times in my life, have become almost peaceful. We are not rushing. We are not hurrying. I get to send my babies off in a calm state of mind, knowing that their heads and hearts are in a good place, too.

I want to applaud those of you that have come to be absolute rockstars at managing the busyness of sports seasons. I witnessed families that completely thrived (or appeared to on the surface at least 😉) as they went to and from each game and practice. They truly seemed to love every second of it. Ty and I have learned through this that we are simply not those people at this stage of life. Rushing out of the door each night to get kids where they needed to be was not fun for us. I slowly watched the climate of our home shift as we lived in this constant state of busyness. The blessing of children, however, is their pure innocence. Little did they know how packed our schedule was and had no concept of time. They just loved getting to hang out with their friends and play a fun game. And truly, we loved getting to watch them play, too. 

During this time, I also began to read Taking Back the Family by Jefferson Bethke. If you are at all interested in prioritizing the family and what it looks like to live as a family team, I cannot recommend this book enough. It's wonderful. But it was through this idea that I began to create a filter in my mind. I started to think through the lens of: Does this bring life, joy, and peace to our family team or is it pulling us further apart as individuals? And I believe this is a question we can ask for each commitment in our lives - children or adults. But, this is also where things get tricky because the world tells us one thing: that we are individuals and we should do whatever makes us happy and fulfilled. The way of the world tells us that what we do individually doesn't affect the family as a unit, but as I trudged through this last season, I would highly disagree with this. I watched each practice and game slowly pull us apart. I watched my husband lose his patience and slowly be sucked in a worldly view of success: how well your child performs in a game. I watched us rush kids out of the house on a Saturday morning, only to be separated for much of the day. I do not believe that families need to spend every second of their day together, but an environment where we are constantly moving in different directions doesn't sound healthy or good to me either.

I love the way Jeff puts it in Taking Back the Family saying, "God doesn't give individual missions to teams. Now, let me clear: I don't mean the family does everything together, never leaves each other's sides, or has to always function as a unit. That's oversimplified. Too much of a caricature. In any team, the members have different assignments. But all of it is under the umbrella of the collective mission." He goes on to say, "...when the toxin of individualism seeps into your bloodstream, you begin to make choices that are best for you but not best for the team. And while we celebrate that in families for some reason, you know what we call that in team sports? A cancer."

So, here is my takeaway... if what we have committed our time, energy, and attention to does not allow us to love God and love people more, if it is not moving our family toward our collective mission, if it does not help create a cohesive team, then it is probably not the best move for our family. I never want my kids to measure their success in life based on how well they played in a game or how many points they scored. I never want them to see that we put greater value on their ability to perform in a game over their character. I don't want them to believe that this constant state of hurry and busyness that so often pulls apart the family team, despite being normal by worldly standards, is not healthy for developing strong generations to come. So today, as I sit down and feel welcomed back into this beautiful blog that allows me to process life, I thank God for giving me strength to persevere... and also for a season where we can rest, rejuvenate, and refill with His goodness.

This last fall, Ty had the opportunity to record his testimony with a local video producer, and this last Sunday, our pastor finally got to share it with the congregation. One of the most beautiful pieces of sharing a testimony is that while most people cannot relate to every aspect of the journey, they can usually find something in the story they can easily identify with. Afterwards, our pastor invited people to share with Ty which parts stood out to them, what areas struck them, where they were able to relate to, etc. and one woman, about our age, timidly, yet bravely, raised her hand and said something along the lines of, "I really appreciated your transparency in your marriage and struggles you had with your kids. I've had similar things with my marriage and my kids and it's really nice to be able to say, 'Hey, me too!'"

"Hey, me too."

Such a simple statement but so incredibly powerful. Over the last year, I have felt the need and desire to spread this message because it is a message that I have desperately needed to hear many times and believe so many people also need to hear despite which season of life you find yourself in. Whether you're a teenager navigating big emotions and the uncertainties of life, a newlywed struggling to blend two natural-born sinners into one body, new parents on the verge of tears constantly because all of a sudden have a human you never thought you could love so much on one hand, and you feel like you're drowning on the other, or maybe you're empty-nesters figuring out how to just be husband and wife again. Listen, wherever you are, you need to hear from people, "Me too. I've been there. I am there."

Following Ty's testimony, he had a friend ask how I was handling it because in his testimony, he talks openly about when our marriage had reached its lowest point, as well as struggles we faced in our parenting over the last 4 or so years. Ty is not one to hold back, so he was very open about these difficult years. And honestly, part of me wanted to crawl under a rock knowing that people were going to hear it all. What are they going to think of us? What will they say? If you would've asked me 2 years ago to share our story with the world, I would've said no way. I would've been perfectly fine keeping our struggles private and allowing everyone to just get to see the sweet Instagram pictures instead of the reality behind them. But what I've come to realize through these struggles is that we need to get more comfortable with saying to people, "Hey, me too. I've been there. I am there. It is hard. I have no idea what I'm doing. It hurts. I also have felt that anger before. But, have hope. This is a season and I can promise you, it won't last forever. Here are some things that helped me. Can I pray for you? Do you need a coffee? Can I bring you dinner? Can I take your children so you and your husband can talk?" 

After having Quynn, I had so many people in my life, both personally and at work, often say to me, "I don't know how you do it so well! You've got it all together." So let me scream this from the rooftop, I DO NOT! I might have made it out of the house on time, but it was WWIII in the process with 4,000 threats along the way. It was during this time of my life that I realized the importance of being open and vulnerable with people. It wasn't helpful to them, or to me, to pretend like things were smooth, easy, and without a massive amount of work behind the scenes. I have found that motherhood, in particular, can feel isolating and lonely. When you are in the trenches, it's easy to feel as if you are the only one who has ever experienced _________________. Fill in the blank. And I would argue that the same is true for marriage, for our jobs, or for life in general. This has been heavy on my heart for the youth of our world right now, who are greatly suffering from isolation, fear of not living up to other people's standards and are constantly fighting the thoughts of not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, popular enough (Thanks in large part to social media). I loved being a teacher for this very reason - to be able to say to them, "Hey, me too. I've been there. I still fight those fears at times. But let me tell you, it will pass. It will get better." No matter the season we find ourselves in, no matter where we are or where we've been, we must be willing to be bold and encourage others with a simple, "Hey, me too. You are not alone."

Ty's friend asked how I was handling it mainly because his own wife has had a difficult time sharing struggles she/they are facing out of fear of what others might think. And listen sister, I. Get. That. BIG time. I am an extremely reserved person. There are a handful of people in my life I share the ins and outs with because being vulnerable is hard. And hear me when I say this: Your entire social media following doesn't need updates on your marriage struggles. There is a time, place, and community to share with, but my point being: It's okay to let people in to see the real you behind the cute Instagram pictures. The hard things, the good things, the things you have no idea what to do with, your dreams, and your let downs. Take these pictures for example. On the surface, you might say to yourself, "Oh my gosh. So cute. They look like they had the best time." But, if you've ever had a trip that most definitely didn't live up to your expectations - me too. If you've ever had a child meltdown in the middle of everything because you told them you wouldn't buy them an outrageously priced toy - me too. If you've ever yelled at your child because of their behavior - me too. If you have ever questioned why you even try sometimes - me too. Pictures are beautiful, and there were a lot of good, sweet moments from this trip, but they also hide a lot. So, in case you need to hear it... me too.

Some of the greatest gifts God has blessed me with are a mom and sisters who keep it real, who have been there, and normalize my struggles and fears. As well as friends that I can pour everything out to and the entire time I'm speaking, they're intently listening, eyes locked in, and heads nodding as if to say, "Yes girl. I get you." One of my favorite things my friend, Elisa, does is when she throws her hands up in the air after you've shared what you're going through, and just says something like, "Yes. Preach. Me too. It's SO hard!" In that moment, I just feel a weight lifted. I'm not alone. I'm not crazy. And they still love me.

Having a community of people around to encourage us, support us, and help us feel like we are not alone is essential to our mental health. As difficult as it is, we have to be willing to let go of the notion that people will judge us or think less of us when we share the mountains we are facing. The right people, the people that God places in our lives for a reason and purpose, will not judge us. They will not think less of us. They will lift us and encourage us as we make the climb. They will journey with us and help us see that we are not alone and that there are people who have journeyed there before us. God has placed us in a unique position and with a specific purpose so that one day, whatever it is that we're facing, we will be able to use that story to encourage others by helping them realize that they are not alone either.

 Lord, quiet the noise.

I find myself repeating this prayer over and over and over. There is so much noise coming into our lives. I don't just mean the physical noise. I mean all the stuff that muddies our minds and leaves us feeling confused, frustrated, and clouded. Opinions, rants, well-meaning inspiration, you name it. You know what I'm talking about. If you're on social media for more than 5 seconds, you know what the heck I'm talking about. Social media is not solely to blame. We just happen to be living in a time when we have more inputs than ever before. News, TV shows, movies, podcasts, books, you name it. Do you ever just feel tired of the immense amount your mind and body is trying to absorb in a single day? I do. I've reached a point where it is just too much.

I've been reading a book over the last year or so, because... let's be honest, reading as a mother with littles just doesn't happen very often. The book is called Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer, and it is incredible. I feel like I've always struggled with being able to hear God speak to me. I would listen to people say things like, "God spoke to me the other day..." and it caused me to feels like I was left out of something really special. To hear God clearly speak to me was just not something I had experienced before. This book started to open my eyes as to why that might be.

In the book, Priscilla shares a story about a lunch date she has with a friend in which she ranted about a situation in her life for nearly an hour and a half. Her friend offered the occasional "mmhmm..." when she got an opportunity, but Priscilla continued on rambling. Before she knew it, the dishes were being cleared and the check had arrived. Noticing her friend looking a little uneasy she said, "Well, what do you think I should I do?" 

Her friend said very kindly, and gently to her, "Priscilla, I did have some things to say to you, but you never stopped talking long enough to listen."

A bit taken aback and disappointed, she drove home reflecting on what her friend said. The Lord convicted her through this moment, however, leaving her wondering, "Hadn't I been approaching Him the same way? Talking, talking, talking -- praying (feels better calling it that). But mostly just talking, repeating myself, analyzing, rationalizing, Like Jada [her friend from lunch], God was reminding me, 'I do have some things to say to you, Priscilla, but you never stop talking long enough to listen.'"

Yes. I realized in this moment that I talk, talk, talk, and rarely, if ever, give God the opportunity to talk back. I was having a one-way conversation. We fill our lives with so many different things, causing so much noise, that we no longer have the time or capacity to hear God speak.

She goes on to say, "If I wanted to hear, I had to listen. Creating time, space, and opportunity to hear God is paramount for those of us who desire to sense His Spirit's conviction, to receive His detailed guidance, and to discern His intimate leading." (pg. 18)

Sometimes I wonder why it has taken me so long to recognize this. If I'm being completely honest, I don't know that I have ever been fully ready for what God has to say to me. It scares me a little bit. I love my comfort zone. Me and my comfort zone are bffs. I struggle when things disrupt that. I believe I have been fearful that if I quiet the noise long enough to hear God direct me or convict me, I will be pushed in a direction that might cause me to feel a bit uncomfortable. Because, yes - that's what He does. That's how He grows us and grows His kingdom. Stuff doesn't happen when we remain comfortable.

Far too often, we do not allow ourselves the space to listen. We are focused on our own thoughts, opinions, and agendas to even take a moment to shut down the noise. 2020 and moving into 2021 has overwhelmed me as I'm sure it has many others. It seems to be that whenever anything comes to someone's mind, they feel it necessary to share with the world, and pretty soon, we find ourselves surrounded by the noise of things beyond our control. Unless we are willing to do the intentional work of stepping away, we will continue to be deafened by this noise and overwhelmed with the amount of inputs we receive throughout our day. We will continue to not be able to process our own thoughts, dreams, and ideas because they will be so deeply buried below everyone else's. But most importantly, we will continue to not be able to hear God. We will not be able to hear His calling for us, His comfort, His wisdom, His encouragement. We will continue to live by worldly standards until we allow ourselves to step away.

Let me just be clear about one thing. I am deeply and completely working myself through this, too. Most people will read this and move on without a second thought about quieting the noise in their life, but I am processing this big time as a write this post. I need this in my life. I need to quiet whatever is preventing me from hearing the Lord speak to me.

Here are seven steps I am practicing and have found to be helpful throughout this process.

1. Step away from Social Media, or if you can't/don't want to completely, give yourself a time limit. My sister is a pretty well known blogger, YouTuber, Podcaster, etc. (she's like... super cool) and when that is all that you do, it can get completely overwhelming and LOUD, LOUD, LOUD. She set a timer on her phone to only allow herself 15 minutes on social media a day. Maybe you need or want more time, that's okay. What I believe is necessary here is eliminating or limiting the unnecessary inputs that weigh us down. It doesn't take more than 30 seconds on social media these days to encounter that.

"Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word." -Pslam 119:37

2. Prioritize what you let in - even if it is good! I love listening to podcasts, reading books, listening to sermons, and reading through the plans The Bible App offers. All good things. But I found myself overwhelmed with the amount of new techniques, practices, rhythms, etc. I wanted to begin to implement in our home. While all of these are amazing, and yes, should become a part of our home at some point, we can often be so focused on our own agenda and ideas that we do not leave room for God to direct us on what He knows our home needs. So, I'm practicing taking it slow and filtering a bit what I listen to and read. I'm allowing myself more time to process it and pray about it in order to hear God's thoughts. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lead not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

3. Be okay sitting in silence. Whether it's getting ready in the morning, eating a meal, or driving in the car... allow yourself to do it in silence. If we never give ourselves these moments, they simply won't happen. This is one I really struggle with and am trying to practice throughout my day. I know that this inhibits my ability to hear God.

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still." Exodus 14:14

4. Put your phone or computer away or out of reach. Because of the day and age we live in, everything is so dang accessible and we often travel wherever we go, even room to room, with our phone in tow, making it readily available whenever we want it. Subconsciously, we grab it whenever we have a lapse in thought, and often get distracted. Uh, guilty! I have been practicing leaving my phone on the entry table to eliminate this, but it's hard! If we need a break from the noise, though, we have to begin to minimize the source by making it less accessible. 

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." -Colossians 3:2

5. Get outside. There is something to be said for stepping out into God's world. Go for a hike, take a walk, or simply step outside and breathe in new, clean air. I know that if I'm in my house too long, the walls feel like they're caving in on me and I feel a bit suffocated. Offer yourself the opportunity to take a break from all that's happening in our world, town, or even just your home by getting outside for a moment and relish in God's creation.

"For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land." -Psalm 95:3-5

6. Prioritize quiet time. This one is much easier in certain seasons of life. Our house, for instances, with a 6, 5, and 4-year-old is only quiet for a brief moment in the morning, so Ty and I wake up at 4AM (I know... yikes! And not everyone's cup of tea) to have our quiet time. If we don't do this, however, we simply wouldn't get it. And I try very hard to carve out a bit of time throughout the day, but my kids are far past naps and just want to play, play, and play some more. Even if it's 10 minutes throughout your day, find a pocket of time where you can just sit, free of the noise and chaos that normally surrounds you.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7

7. Find an unbiased news source (are those even a thing???) or step away from the news channels and pages for a bit. I believe it is extremely important to be educated on what's going on, but take it for that and move on. The news is not what needs to be playing in the background as you're getting ready in the morning, eating lunch, or cooking dinner. Understand what's going on... and then shut it off.

"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" -Matthew 6: 22-23

Guys, we have to be aware of what we're letting in. With the immense amount being thrown at us, it should be no surprise that anxiety and depression are on the rise. Because suddenly, our minds are racing with doing all the things we see others doing, buying things that others tell us we "need", we compare our lives to others, we feel frustrated when people disagree with us, we feel anger, we feel confusion, we feel unease, but most of all, we miss what God is saying to us. When something doesn't sit right, take it to the Lord. And then sit and be quiet, preparing yourself to listen. 

"In the regular rhythms of life, it means being willing to wait and watch, to sense where God is moving before I hurry to make a decision. It means not having all the answer I'd like to have but not becoming frazzled by that, staying quiet and patient as He gives me what I do need to know, understanding this 'empty space' -- this listening posture that makes me so jumpy and uncomfortable -- is exactly the void he can fill with His divine wisdom and direction. It means being attentive to the undercurrent of His ongoing activity beneath the surface of my everyday happenings.

The lesson was becoming more and more clear: creating and allowing margin to hear God is fundamental to discerning His voice. Because in that space, we seek Him, lean into Him, and acknowledge Him in a way we might not otherwise be able to." -Priscilla Shirer Discerning The Voice of God

Here is the thing, the world isn't going to slow down. People are not going to stop sharing their opinions on everything over social media, the news is still going to be bogged down with opinionated negativity. If you don't allow yourself the opportunity to slow down, step back, and reduce the noise and inputs in your life, you are going to continue to feel the weight of that. We are not meant to carry that. Together, let's give ourselves the space to allow God to do His good work and lead us on the path He wishes us to go. 

"I will instruct you and teach in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." - Psalms 32:8

Why do we expect life to be easy?

I was caught off guard with this question the other morning, as Ty came up from his work out.

"Uh... I don't know." Solid answer, Tye. You really nailed that one.

"Seriously, though. Why would we expect things to be smooth and easy when the Bible clearly says that we will be faced with trials?" 

My husband is one of the most insightful people I know. Try to tell him that, however, and he will tell you that there is someone smarter and can express their thoughts better, but, he challenges my thinking in so many ways. He simply does not give himself enough credit. God often speaks through him to me.

This question, in particular, really got me thinking, and thus, researching the truth of what God says we can expect in our life on earth. 

In John 16:33, Jesus is speaking to his disciples and says, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Jesus wasn't telling them, if you face troubles, he was in fact assuring them that they would face trials as believers. 

I don't know about you guys, but since COVID hit in the spring, I have been in a slump. I have felt anxiety and depression in a way that I never have before, which has been a difficult experience for me. But, as I sit here and read this scripture and chew on what Ty presented to me, it helps. God never promised me an easy life. He never said I will not have to face trials, feel pain, depression, anxiety, or that my path will be easy. He simply says that when we face trials, He's got us.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep you over. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. - Isaiah 43:2

Again... When, when, when. Not if.

My husband is a man that thinks in analogies and pictures. In discussing this particular topic, he put it something like this: It's a process similar to refining precious metals or diamonds. Initially, it's dirty, rugged, and you can't yet see the beauty beneath it. The process takes time and intentionality in order to get to the final product. A diamond does not just appear. It first must be discovered, or mined, recognizing its potential to become something beautiful, rare, and refined one day once you crack away the hard exterior. Impurities must be removed and sorted out in order for the diamond, or precious metal, to be revealed. And yet even still, it takes time to thoroughly clean them, preparing them to become what they are meant to be. One day, they will reach a point where they shine beautifully because of the work that went into each one individually, however, there will come a time when they will fog up again, get dirty, and need more attention. That will never go away. A diamond will never shine to its greatest potential without consistent and intentional upkeep and attention. We are like diamonds. Each trial we face is a step in building us up to our greatest potential. God sees what we can become underneath all the grime and hardships. He knows what we need to become the people He created us to be, and so those moments of suffering are not to intentionally cause us pain and turmoil, but to offer us opportunities to get rid of our impurities and become more refined and mature in the process.

James, Jesus' brother, exclaims in his letter in James 1:2 that we should actually consider it joy when we face trials. Yes, I know... easier said than done. It is in these moments, however, that our true character shines - good or bad. I know people that are masters at being able to see joy in the midst of suffering. People that are in so much pain internally, but can also clearly see God working and praise Him continuously. To me, that is an incredible testament to someone's faith. I want to be that person deeply, but I'm just not there quite yet. It's a marathon, not a sprint, right?  

In this chapter, through his faith in God, James is basically instructing us to be grateful for the trials we face and find joy through them because, as it says in verses 3-4, "...because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." It is in these moments of grief, sorrow, and darkness that the Lord is fully and completely at work in our hearts, growing us and maturing our character. 

Imagine what the world is going to think and begin to wonder when they see you continue to glorify our Lord even when you are hurting. Even when you lost your job. Your husband cheated. You experience the death of a family member or friend. I have been there. I have been angry and questioned God. So, let me just say, that I am not trying to negate your true and often painful feelings and thoughts. Jesus isn't either. While Jesus is fully God, He is also fully human, and while on earth, experienced unmet needs (Luke 9:58), betrayal (John 13:21, 38; 18:2), exhaustion (John 4:6), grief and sorrow (Matthew 26: 38-39), temptation (Hebrews 2:18), physical and emotional suffering (Matthew 27), and felt extreme anguish (Matthew 27:46). He knows your heart and what you are feeling and it is because of this that He is able to feel the utmost empathy for what you're going through. Considering it pure joy when we face trials offers the world a chance to see that even though God allows really hard things to happen in our lives, He does so so that we can grow and mature into strong people as a result. Beyond even our own growth and maturity, our struggles are a unique opportunity for us to love and serve others by being able to extend empathy and love when others are hurting. It is through these moments that the world gets a glimpse into who God truly is: nurturing, patient, kind, strong, and filled with unconditional love and grace for us.

I just finished listening to an episode of Jennie Allen's podcast "Made for This" in which she interviewed a lady who went through a near 18-month immigration trial in West Africa while she was there on mission. She said this and I just loved it, "Jesus didn't come to shield us from these things. He didn't come to shield our emotions. He didn't come to shield us from the reality of experiencing grief or loss or apathy. He came to dignify that and say, 'I'm going to enter in to be able to say with you: I am here and I get it. And I also have my own humanity that can stand with you, beside you, behind you in the midst of these things."

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." - James 1:12

How then, do we persevere through these moments that feel hopeless, dark, and uneasy? How do we know that God is with us and has not forgotten us? Put simply, He repeatedly promises to be with us through our trials. He promises to provide for our every need. (Philippians 4:19, Matthew 6: 25-34, Proverbs 10:3, Philippians 4:6, Hebrews 11:6, 1 Corinthians 10:13, Isaiah 41:10 ... to name just a few) 

On a daily basis, I think about a sermon our pastor did on how God provided for the Israelites when they were freed from Egypt. They were told to only go out and collect enough manna to feed their family for that day and were not to take their rations for the next day. (Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.") Some people simply did not trust that God would provide for their needs again, so they disobeyed and collected more food anyways. As the next day came, they soon discovered that their manna had become rotten. 

So, here is my daily reminder when I look back on this story: God provides what we need for that moment, that day, hour, minute, and second, so we have to remain faithful that He will provide again. Trying to take on tomorrow's worries today will only leave us with rotten manna in our hands. God will never leave us or abandon us. He will show up again and again. 

For me, when I find myself going through a difficult time in my life, I know that is a time I must dig deep. I have to be so incredibly intentional, because if I'm not, it's extremely easy for me to feel alone and distant from God. I don't want these moments of my life to be merely survival. I want to see God work through them and in me so that the world can see the goodness of God. The God that carries us when we simply cannot carry ourselves. The God that shows immense grace and love time after time. 

I don't know about you, but my soul craves rest. I am tired. When you look around the world we live in right now, there is so much going on. So many inputs. So many words, opinions, thoughts, ideas, you name it. While some are good, challenging, and produce growth, the majority of it is just distracting noise. 

I love the way Bridgetown introduces the idea of Sabbath on their Practicing the Way series. 

"We live in a cultural moment of restlessness. The unsatisfied desires of our human condition are exacerbated by the barrage of digital marketing from a consumption-oriented, consumer-driven economy. We have multi-billion dollar, multi-national industries hovering over our minds – via our devices – in an attempt to monetize our restlessness. But rest doesn’t come from buying a product; it comes from Sabbath. A word that literally means stopping. The Sabbath is an entire day set aside to stop - stop working, stop wanting, stop worrying, etc.—and to simply rest in God’s presence.

Most followers of Jesus (at least, in the modern, Western world) no longer practice Sabbath. This means many of us are missing out on one of the most life-giving practices of the way of Jesus, and arguably, one of the most important for our cultural moment." Bridgetown Church - Practicing the Way

After listening to that podcast I previously mentioned, I came to Ty and said, "I think we should start practicing Sabbath in our home." At this point in our journey, we were learning, growing, and implementing many different practices to deepen our faith and set our family on a good path, so of course he said yes. He's a good man. 

We sat down and figured out what we wanted this day to look like for our family. We decided to Sabbath Saturday to Sunday, starting it off with a nice, big dinner and dessert. We do not do work on this day, so we spend Saturday morning getting the house clean and in order, getting the laundry done and put away, doing any yard work or projects that need to get done, etc. We start to transition into our Sabbath around 3:30 on Saturday, at which point I turn on some music, pour a glass of wine, and start cooking. In our family, we love food and I love cooking, so this brings me/us a lot of joy to have this time, but if cooking isn't your thing, do what brings you joy. Order a meal from your favorite restaurant (which we do periodically!), or go out to eat. Make it work for you and make it special. When we started this, I bought a new tablecloth and candle holder with five candles on it. The kids know that whenever I get these two things out, it's time for Sabbath. When we sit down for our meal, we each get to light our candle and share one thing we're thankful for. We would also like to add in a good reading to do before dinner, but we're still looking for the right one. Point being: Do what works for your family. Make it your own special time together.

"‘There are six days when you may work, but the seventh day is a day of sabbath rest, a day of sacred assembly. You are not to do any work; wherever you live, it is a sabbath to the Lord." - Leviticus 23:3

The rest of the day is filled with countless other things such as getting outside as a family, going for a drive, watching movies, playing, playing, playing, taking naps, writing, journalling, drawing, etc. Ultimately, we step away from our worry, anxiety, busyness, and joy-suckingness (is that a word? Hmm...) the world lays on our shoulders. One very easy, specific way we do this is by stepping away from our phones. No social media, no mindless browsing, etc. We put our phones away and only use them to call or text if we need to. Ultimately, we seek to do things on Sabbath that a) bring us closer to the Lord and allow us to worship Him and all He's provided for us and b) bring peace, joy, and rest to our lives so that we can more genuinely worship the Lord.

"There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God;" Hebrews 4:9

I need to be completely authentic here for just a second, though. Please don't read this and have a picture in your head of a home of complete peace, no tantrums, no disciplines, no fighting, no having to wipe bottoms, kids that completely obey, no impatience... you get the picture. We try to create the most peaceful environment we can, but let's be real here... we have a 6, 5, and almost 4-year-old. There is very little peace and quiet until 8:00PM in our home. And to be honest, I really struggled with how to balance and embrace that in the midst of trying to have this day of "rest" each week. I still do. Loud yelling and big messes do not bring me peace, but watching my kids play, laugh, create, and imagine does brings me immense joy. I am working on trying to loosen the reigns a bit, let go of my own selfish desires, and just allow this to be a day that fills them up, as well. So, while there is still chaos, it's more important to me that the kids understand the significance of this day and why God created the Sabbath for us. 

As we started this process, I wondered what this day would look like for us. Saturday is usually the day we get together with friends, other family members, do date night, sleepovers, etc. Because of this, I wasn't sure how to find balance in saying yes to things and still keeping this day sacred. In one podcast I listened to they said when it comes to deciding what to say yes to, and what they need to pass on, they always run it through the filter of if that event will be life-giving or not. I loved this approach and could easily wrap my head around, so in our house, we also use this. If the thing is going to cause you more stress, anxiety, separate you from the Lord, disrupt peace in the hearts of you or your family, don't feel bad saying no.

Because of the season of life we are in, Sabbath hasn't always felt like "Christmas morning" around here. There have been some really, really hard days. Our first couple of Sabbath experiences were quite incredible. Our home felt different. Our kids acted different. I walked into Sunday evening actually feeling rested. And then... it changed. As we begin to implement rhythms into our lives that draw us closer to the Lord, we will inevitably be faced with spiritual attack. Shortly after, our Sabbaths were chaos, thoroughly lacking peace and rest. I don't know what to do. This isn't what I expected. This isn't what I want for us. After those first few weeks and hearing how others experienced Sabbath, our expectations were high and all of a sudden, those expectations were not being met. We felt defeated. We felt like giving up.

Listen, it can definitely be hard. Dishes still have to get done, siblings are still going to argue, there will still have to be disciplines. Ty and I have had many, many discussions on how we can improve this day, new rhythms and practices we could implement to change the pace, and how to keep this day from feeling like any other day. When you are studying the subject and hear what a glorious experience it is for some families, you wonder what you're doing wrong. About a month ago, as we were discussing it, Ty said he felt like we were overcomplicating it. "Let's just keep it simple. Good food, no phones, spend time as a family." We had to adjust our expectations.

So, the key to our Sabbath? Simplicity. There is so much around us that strives to complicate, weigh down, and distract us from what is most important. We have to be willing to step away from all of that, at least for a moment, for our own mental health. Take a moment to be with God. Rest as He rested. And if this is a new practice for you and your family, do not expect perfection immediately. We're about a year into it, and we still haven't fully gotten there. Trust the process, trust that the Lord will provide, and trust that you're doing the right work.

If you'd like more information on Sabbath, Bridgetown Church in Portland, Oregon does an entire Sabbath series, both John Mark and Jefferson write about it in their books, and some of my favorite podcasts on the topic have come from Jeremy Pryor, his wife, and one of their daughter on the Family Teams podcast.