I don't know about you, but my soul craves rest. I am tired. When you look around the world we live in right now, there is so much going on. So many inputs. So many words, opinions, thoughts, ideas, you name it. While some are good, challenging, and produce growth, the majority of it is just distracting noise.
The screaming of, "MOOOOOOOOOOOM!" quickly snaps me back to reality, though. A girl can dream, can't she? Whether it's your little ones needing your attention, a habitual scroll through social media, a TV show, sports game, argument you just had, the pile of laundry slowly creeping up to the ceiling, or one of the other million things vying for our attention, it's hard to ever allow our bodies, minds, and souls to find complete rest.
Too often, we walk around carrying a heavy weight on our shoulders. Burdens, worries, anxieties, confusion, trying to keep up and measure up to those around us, work loads, busyness, engaging in one more political post on Facebook, making sure our kids are signed up for all the things. It's too much. Too much for our mental and emotional health. At some point... we have to stop. We have to slow down. We have to match the pace of Jesus and rest our minds and bodies.
Did you know that even God rested? He created the entire world (What the heck am I complaining about?) and on the seventh day... He rested. (Genesis 2:2-3) For so long, Ty and I jammed every little thing we possibly could into our weeks. From Sunday to Sunday, our schedules kept our minds and bodies on the move. Very rarely did we stop, unplug, and allow ourselves to fully rest, which was harming our spiritual and mental health in the process.
We reached a point in our lives a bit over a year ago, where we just looked at each other and basically said, "We have to make some changes. We can't maintain this pace any longer." I know I've mentioned them in prior posts, but we both read To Hell with the Hustle by Jefferson Bethke and The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer during this time, while also diving deep into some incredible podcasts. The ideas these presented to us to contemplate and discuss and then ultimately implement into our daily rhythms were completely life-changing for our family. It was during this season, that I felt God working deeply in both of us to make some immense changes in our priorities, our pace, and our practices.
I remember one day, I listened to one of John Mark's podcast episodes on the Sabbath after having read his book, which has an entire section on Sabbath in it. He discussed how his family practices the Sabbath and the joy, worship, rest, and simplicity this weekly rhythm brings to him and his family. I remember him saying, it's like having Christmas once a week (minus the presents) and that's exactly how they treat it. A time to slow down, be with your family, relish in God's goodness, eat a good meal, relax, watch a fun movie, eat a yummy dessert, and do things that bring you peace and joy.
I love the way Bridgetown introduces the idea of Sabbath on their Practicing the Way series.
"We live in a cultural moment of restlessness. The unsatisfied desires of our human condition are exacerbated by the barrage of digital marketing from a consumption-oriented, consumer-driven economy. We have multi-billion dollar, multi-national industries hovering over our minds – via our devices – in an attempt to monetize our restlessness. But rest doesn’t come from buying a product; it comes from Sabbath. A word that literally means stopping. The Sabbath is an entire day set aside to stop - stop working, stop wanting, stop worrying, etc.—and to simply rest in God’s presence.
Most followers of Jesus (at least, in the modern, Western world) no longer practice Sabbath. This means many of us are missing out on one of the most life-giving practices of the way of Jesus, and arguably, one of the most important for our cultural moment." Bridgetown Church - Practicing the Way
After listening to that podcast I previously mentioned, I came to Ty and said, "I think we should start practicing Sabbath in our home." At this point in our journey, we were learning, growing, and implementing many different practices to deepen our faith and set our family on a good path, so of course he said yes. He's a good man.
We sat down and figured out what we wanted this day to look like for our family. We decided to Sabbath Saturday to Sunday, starting it off with a nice, big dinner and dessert. We do not do work on this day, so we spend Saturday morning getting the house clean and in order, getting the laundry done and put away, doing any yard work or projects that need to get done, etc. We start to transition into our Sabbath around 3:30 on Saturday, at which point I turn on some music, pour a glass of wine, and start cooking. In our family, we love food and I love cooking, so this brings me/us a lot of joy to have this time, but if cooking isn't your thing, do what brings you joy. Order a meal from your favorite restaurant (which we do periodically!), or go out to eat. Make it work for you and make it special. When we started this, I bought a new tablecloth and candle holder with five candles on it. The kids know that whenever I get these two things out, it's time for Sabbath. When we sit down for our meal, we each get to light our candle and share one thing we're thankful for. We would also like to add in a good reading to do before dinner, but we're still looking for the right one. Point being: Do what works for your family. Make it your own special time together.
The rest of the day is filled with countless other things such as getting outside as a family, going for a drive, watching movies, playing, playing, playing, taking naps, writing, journalling, drawing, etc. Ultimately, we step away from our worry, anxiety, busyness, and joy-suckingness (is that a word? Hmm...) the world lays on our shoulders. One very easy, specific way we do this is by stepping away from our phones. No social media, no mindless browsing, etc. We put our phones away and only use them to call or text if we need to. Ultimately, we seek to do things on Sabbath that a) bring us closer to the Lord and allow us to worship Him and all He's provided for us and b) bring peace, joy, and rest to our lives so that we can more genuinely worship the Lord.
I need to be completely authentic here for just a second, though. Please don't read this and have a picture in your head of a home of complete peace, no tantrums, no disciplines, no fighting, no having to wipe bottoms, kids that completely obey, no impatience... you get the picture. We try to create the most peaceful environment we can, but let's be real here... we have a 6, 5, and almost 4-year-old. There is very little peace and quiet until 8:00PM in our home. And to be honest, I really struggled with how to balance and embrace that in the midst of trying to have this day of "rest" each week. I still do. Loud yelling and big messes do not bring me peace, but watching my kids play, laugh, create, and imagine does brings me immense joy. I am working on trying to loosen the reigns a bit, let go of my own selfish desires, and just allow this to be a day that fills them up, as well. So, while there is still chaos, it's more important to me that the kids understand the significance of this day and why God created the Sabbath for us.
As we started this process, I wondered what this day would look like for us. Saturday is usually the day we get together with friends, other family members, do date night, sleepovers, etc. Because of this, I wasn't sure how to find balance in saying yes to things and still keeping this day sacred. In one podcast I listened to they said when it comes to deciding what to say yes to, and what they need to pass on, they always run it through the filter of if that event will be life-giving or not. I loved this approach and could easily wrap my head around, so in our house, we also use this. If the thing is going to cause you more stress, anxiety, separate you from the Lord, disrupt peace in the hearts of you or your family, don't feel bad saying no.
Because of the season of life we are in, Sabbath hasn't always felt like "Christmas morning" around here. There have been some really, really hard days. Our first couple of Sabbath experiences were quite incredible. Our home felt different. Our kids acted different. I walked into Sunday evening actually feeling rested. And then... it changed. As we begin to implement rhythms into our lives that draw us closer to the Lord, we will inevitably be faced with spiritual attack. Shortly after, our Sabbaths were chaos, thoroughly lacking peace and rest. I don't know what to do. This isn't what I expected. This isn't what I want for us. After those first few weeks and hearing how others experienced Sabbath, our expectations were high and all of a sudden, those expectations were not being met. We felt defeated. We felt like giving up.
Listen, it can definitely be hard. Dishes still have to get done, siblings are still going to argue, there will still have to be disciplines. Ty and I have had many, many discussions on how we can improve this day, new rhythms and practices we could implement to change the pace, and how to keep this day from feeling like any other day. When you are studying the subject and hear what a glorious experience it is for some families, you wonder what you're doing wrong. About a month ago, as we were discussing it, Ty said he felt like we were overcomplicating it. "Let's just keep it simple. Good food, no phones, spend time as a family." We had to adjust our expectations.
So, the key to our Sabbath? Simplicity. There is so much around us that strives to complicate, weigh down, and distract us from what is most important. We have to be willing to step away from all of that, at least for a moment, for our own mental health. Take a moment to be with God. Rest as He rested. And if this is a new practice for you and your family, do not expect perfection immediately. We're about a year into it, and we still haven't fully gotten there. Trust the process, trust that the Lord will provide, and trust that you're doing the right work.
If you'd like more information on Sabbath, Bridgetown Church in Portland, Oregon does an entire Sabbath series, both John Mark and Jefferson write about it in their books, and some of my favorite podcasts on the topic have come from Jeremy Pryor, his wife, and one of their daughter on the Family Teams podcast.
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